My Dad is Bad - Bonus Scenes
by Kay Hau
Summary: A place for shorts, oneshots, and/or drabbles, all taking place in the My Dad is Bad universe, but that would interrupt the flow of the main story. Shorts may take place in the past, present, or future and, at least so far, are pretty much all fluff. Beta read by Sunny Lighter. 6, Shark Patrol. 7, Rescue Shark. 8, Garmadon's First Existential Crisis. 9, Our Little Terror.
1. Ch1: Baby Shark!

CH 1 - BABY SHARK!

_Author's Note: If you haven't seen the Baby Shark music video for kids on YouTube, just go do so. It's absolutely precious and vital to understanding this chapter. (The order of sharks is a little different here, but I didn't think it was important enough to change anything.) _

_Dedicated to Sunny Lighter, whose original idea it was that Lloyd and Garmadon were (are) Baby Shark fans._

~~ ! Go Ninja Go ! ~~

Zane was astounded. Absolutely speechless in wonder and delight. He'd never imagined such an incredible find on searching the volcano's intranet.

Lloyd had given his friends the WiFi code without even being asked, and Garmadon himself gave them the intranet code, literally telling them to have fun exploring and that, to quote, "There's some great stuff on there!"

Including a stockpile of adorable baby videos of Lloyd.

Which included one with Lloyd, probably about four years old, dressed in a shark costume. Dancing along to the Baby Shark song.

"This is the greatest thing ever," murmured Zane aloud, a helpless smile beginning to curl his lips.

"Whatcha watching, Zane?" asked Jay, from in front of his own laptop. It was hard to know what Zane was looking at online at any point in time, but his friends recognized the way his eyes would flicker when he was connected, and sometimes his expression was a dead giveaway that he was looking up jokes or memes instead of doing homework.

Instead of explaining, Zane gestured at Lloyd's TV, which was also connected to the intranet, so he was easily able to pull the video up on the screen.

~Ba-by Shark, do do do do do do ~

Baby Lloyd was the most adorable thing in his little shark costume, green eyes absolutely sparkling as he danced and sang along, swinging from side to side in time with the music.

"First. Spinjitzu. Master," gasped Jay, eyes widening.

"What are you guys watching?" asked Cole, having come back from the kitchen with snacks. "Wait, is that-!"

Garmadon had joined Lloyd in his own shark costume on the screen as "Daddy Shark", though his costume had a blue tie on. His deep voice cheerfully joined his son's as they sang along with the track.

Zane, Cole, and Jay couldn't even laugh. It was just too adorable. They could only stare, minds blown, uncontrollable smiles growing on their faces.

Nya and Kai returned at the sound of the familiar children's song to see what the others were up to, and barely got past the doorway before they froze too.

Right on time for Mommy Shark, starring the great white Maude. In a curly brown wig and an apron. With Lloyd and Garmadon still dancing in front of the underwater viewing area for the shark area. Obviously she couldn't actually do the arm movements, but it really looked like she was trying her best.

Too soon to fully process what was before their eyes, Garfield, the second of the three great whites, had joined in as Grampa Shark, with a short white wig and glasses somehow secured to his head.

Lloyd came back into the room then, and was immediately pinned by Kai in a hug with Nya covering his mouth to block any protests. They HAD to see this to the end, and both were blind and deaf to their adopted bro's squirming and muffled shouts.

Zane turned up the volume.

It shouldn't have been a surprise to see Donatello, the last of Lloyd's precious great whites, as Grandma Shark. Complete in curly gray wig and also with glasses.

A muffled groan came from Lloyd as he resigned himself to this torture as the end of the video played through. Even to a couple seconds after the song with his baby (shark) self screaming in joy and thanking his daddy and his sharks for doing such an awesome job.

The screen went dark as the video minimized to the corner.

"Best. Video. Ever," whispered Cole, dark eyes huge and glittering. Enormous smile taking up half his face.

"Sooooo cute!" gasped Nya, breathless.

"That was awesome," murmured Kai. "How has this never been shared outside the volcano before?"

"Don't even think about it!" cried out Lloyd, momentarily breaking away from the twins and lunging for the TV. Only to be dog-piled by all five of his determined friends, who desperately needed more of this adorable goodness in their lives.

Zane hit replay.

It would be many. Many. Replays later that Lloyd was finally freed. And only after the others had all downloaded the video to their own devices.

And after Garmadon had joined the group and happily danced along to the video. Lloyd did not deign to join him, despite much cajoling. Though at least his dad seemed to finally bring his fascinated friends back to Ninjago and out of their Baby Shark marathon.

"Hey, it's part of a playlist!" exclaimed Zane, oblivious to Lloyd's horrified expression. "Next up, Shark Cam! episode one."

"Oh, that's the best one!" boomed Garmadon.

"Put it on already!" squealed Nya in absolute delight.

"I'm gonna die," despaired Lloyd. "I am literally going to curl up and die. Right now."

Everyone ignored him, too rapt on the opening scene to some sort of gameshow, with Garmadon and a tiny Lloyd around maybe eight years old sitting at a desk with a big red button...


	2. Ch2: KITTY CLIPS, Fishfood

CH 2 - KITTY CLIPS, Fishfood

"Hey, fellow cat-lovers! Lloyd here, with another video of Meowthra being adorable! Now, I've gotten some comments from people that are worried that my home also has sharks."

"I understand your worries! Remember everyone, you really shouldn't get a pet cat if you already have a pet shark, or vice versa. Animals will be animals no matter how much we love them, and accidents happen."

"Thankfully, it seems Meowthra and my sharks have some sort of agreement! Let's check out today's clip!"

Meowthra sat regally on the main beach outside Ninjago city, surveying all before her. The camera panned over and took in the great view out over the ocean.

Three large shark fins broke the water, along with a great many smaller shark fins. The water began splashing and fish began to fly though the air, landing neatly before Meowthra.

Meowthra purred and began delicately eating the tiny snacks.

The camera panned back to the water just in time to see a shark fling another fish into the air towards the beach.

"Aw!" came Lloyd's voice over the recording. "They're friends now!"

"I dunno bro," came Kai's voice. "You sure those are presents and not, uh..."

"Sacrifices," finished Nya.

"Offerings," contributed Zane.

"Tribute," added Cole.

"Bribes?" asked Jay.

"Don't be silly. They're just saying thank you for her watching over me and ... hey! I do not need a bodyguard, Gar! And what is that supposed to mean, Ma! Don! You too?!"

If anything, more fish were flung onto the beach at Lloyd's words.

"You still recording, bro?"

"Gah! Um, anyway, isn't Meowthra adorable as she eats fish? I think it's so cute how she wipes her face when she's done! At first I was worried, because cats aren't supposed to eat the fishbone, but she's been fine so far and our vet said not to worry! Anyway, kitty love forever and see you guys next week!"

~~ ! Go Ninja Go ! ~~

_Author's Notes: I really pity Meowthra's vet. Though at least Lloyd is being a responsible pet owner? _

_If it didn't make sense, you probably don't spend much time on YouTube! Basically, "Kitty Clips" is Lloyd's video channel where he posts short clips of his cat being cute. He doesn't seem to understand how some people don't see her as just precious. He also has a channel for his sharks being "cute". _

_And don't worry! I'm still working on the next chapter of My Dad is Bad! And all your AMAZING reviews of Baby Shark were definitely incentive to keep working at it! Thank you all SO MUCH! _


	3. CH 3: Lloyd Watch, Sharkie Promise

CH 3 - Lloyd Watch: Sharkie Promise

Lord Garmadon walked through the volcano, deep exhaustion in every step, carrying a hysterically sobbing little Lloyd.

"Sir, what is-"

Before the minion, whose number Garmadon couldn't remember but who he knew was in that new babysitter's club for Lloyd, could finish his question, he had an armful of blond baby.

"I. Need. Sleep," was all Garmadon said, but his lava eyes were exhausted and the lines on his face seemed much deeper. He turned to head back to the elevator to his private floors and actually walked into a couple columns on the way.

No.46 looked over at No.83 in confusion, knowing the man had been on Lloyd Watch the previous day. He shrugged. "Apparently Jaws isn't child-friendly. Who knew?"

Lloyd whimpered and clung to his babysitter.

"He's afraid of sharks now?"

"Don't be ridiculous. He's upset because they killed the shark."

No.46 didn't look particularly comforted by that idea.

No.83 rolled his eyes and leaned over to try get the little guy's attention. "Lloyd. Look at me. GarMaDon are fine, I swear. Do you need to see them?"

The sobbing petered out and bright green eyes turned to the face of the man in the crab helmet. After a moment, he nodded.

~~ ! Go Ninja Go ! ~~

"Is he actually talking to them?"

"It certainly seems so."

The two official babysitters watched in partial bewilderment, partial resignation, with a good dash of 'FSM, the boss's kid is adorable', as Lloyd lectured his father's Great White sharks.

"So you can't eat peoples! Because den dey get scayed and do awful, tewible stuff like twying to kill you! And I love you. So no killing peoples! You pwomise me! No biting, even! 'Cause den you get cawied away and befow you know it, whoopsie! So, no! Nevah!"

The three Great White sharks nodded solemnly.

Honestly, 43 and 86 were more than a little freaked out, but they were hiding it well.

"Agweed, den! You pwomised, so no takesies-backsies! I can't lose you guys, because I love you, so you can't bite peoples evah. Yes? Good. Good shawkies. Now who wants belly wubs?"

"I have no idea what to think," mumbled No.46.

"We aren't paid to think," sighed No.86. "Just roll with it and be happy the kid isn't crying anymore."

~~ ! Go Ninja Go ! ~~

_Author's Notes: Confession time – I have never seen Jaws, and honestly don't want to. But it just seemed SO Garmadon to try to teach Lloyd that horror monster movies are actually comedies, and it's become a running gag between Sunny Lighter and me that Lloyd instead sees the genre the way most people see sad dog movies. Credit to Sunny Lighter, of course, since a good half of this short is probably taken almost directly from one of our rambling PMs! _


	4. Ch4: Power Trip

CH 4 - Power Trip

Lord Garmadon did not seem to understand the concept of Take-Your-Child-To-Work Day.

Seriously, it shouldn't be that hard. Take. Your Child. To Work.

Not, Let-Your-Child-Do-Your-Job Day.

Because, as adorable as a seven year old wearing a Lord Garmadon costume was, children should not be given carte-blanche over an evil volcanic lair, and certainly not over all the minions within.

And so little seven-year old Lloyd marched around, fake little arms swinging as his normal arms gesticulated wildly (in a hilariously accurate imitation of his daddy), ordering minions to get him coffee (which he pretty quickly discovered he hated), to hurry up in their progress on their next mech (even to those not working on mechs), and loudly proclaiming that he was 'surrounded by idiots', which was actually kind of cute coming from a tiny blondie that couldn't reach above your waist.

The minions were on their best behavior, actually, which was good since they had no doubt Garmadon WOULD enforce any firings.

That went on for all of... ten minutes. Then Lloyd turned pouty lips and and teary eyes up to his daddy, who'd been diligently trailing him around the volcano's main offices.

"I'm boooooored!"

Garmadon blinked, honestly surprised that Lloyd could find being an evil warlord boring.

"Being evil is never boring!" he boomed out in retort, using his most inspirational tone and posing for his baby's benefit. "You can do WHATEVER you want!"

And he instantly regretted his wording, at the suddenly sparkling green eyes and overlarge smile.

"Anything?!" asked Lloyd, hope just beaming around him in a way that almost had the warlord shielding his eyes.

Lord Garmadon thought over the possibilities of the absolute worst his son could get up to in one day. All for the furthering of the course of evil. Why was he suddenly so worried? Ridiculous. So what if a few dozen minions got blasted from the volcano for no real reason? And he could do with more sharks. And he'd probably cry in joy if his baby decided to try his hand at invasion.

"Of course! That's what being an evil warlord is all about!"

"CANDY!" shrieked Lloyd in reply, rushing out of the room. "GIMMEE ALL YOUR CANDY! EVERYONE BRING ME ALL YOUR CANDY! YOU! GO TO A STORE AND GET ME ALL THEIR CANDY!"

Garmadon blinked. He'd been expecting a power trip, had honestly been looking forward to it, but this...

"I'M GONNA EAT CANDY UNTIL I THROW UP! AND WHY ARE ALL OF YOU WORKING?! I, LORD LLOYD, DECLARE TODAY AND EVERY DAY TO HENCEFORTH BE PARTY-WITH-CANDY DAY!"

Between being a little worried about possible repercussions for disobedience, mixed with a genuine desire for a day of partying instead of working, it was only seconds before all work was abandoned, music started blasting, people began dancing and singing and laughing and rushing all the candy they could find to their little master.

Okay, this was getting weird. And Garmadon shuddered to think about the inevitable sugar crash. At the rate he was going, Lloyd had every intention of living up to his "until I throw up" declaration.

Hmm, could this still be called evil though?

"Fireworks! And, and glitter bombs! And, and the next mech is gonna be a giant rainbow unicorn kitty that farts glitter firework rainbows! Made of candy!"

Wait, what? He must have misheard.

"Doughnuts? Yeah, doughnuts are great! And pie and cake and ice cream and pizza and anything else awesome and sweet and terribly EVIL for you! MUA-HA-HA! Heehee~! Really? Thank you! That would be great! Enough for everybody, please!"

Garmadon was beginning to regret all this when a small body charged at him full speed, crashing into his legs and giggling in delight.

"Daddy! Daddy! Dance for us! I, I order you to! Please? And sing the shark song!"

Oh, why not. Like he said, Evil is doing Whatever You Want.


	5. Ch5: And Lloyd Will Never Know

CH 5 - And Lloyd Will Never Know

The two dark figures met in a shadowy alley after dark.

"You got it?" demanded the larger shadow to the smaller in a deep, threatening voice.

"Depends," retorted the smaller figure, in a young, female, but incredibly stern voice. "Do you?"

The larger figure pulled a small object from his pocket. It was a phone, open to, but not playing, a video. He clicked play...

"Ba-by Shark, do do do do do do~"

The large figure, his dark hair and eyes now illuminated in the light from his phone, hit pause, freezing the tiny blond child in his shark costume mid-dance.

Cole turned the screen to the girl next to him, letting her see he'd only played a few seconds out of nearly four minutes.

Karen physically had to hold herself back from snatching the phone, instead opening her green backpack and pulling out a green laptop.

She flipped it open, unlocked it with her fingerprint, and turned it around for the Earth Ninja to see a web page layout.

A banner at the top read, 'Lloyd Love - Green Ninja Forever!' A sidebar had links to fanart, photographs, news stories, and interviews. There were links to Lloyd's new video channels starring Meowthra and his sharks, as well as a 'Coming Soon!' announcement regarding upcoming pages for the other Ninja, both past and present, including Koko, Wu, and Garmadon himself.

Cole took his time, seriously studying the layout, the accuracy of the stories, whether there was anything objectionable (other than for being too cute).

"No public comment sections?"

"We have a comment section, but all users must be invited and approved to create an account to post anything and will be subject to suspension or even deletion for anything hateful or inappropriate. On top of that, we have filters set up to weed out most garbage, and anything over 100 words or containing outside links will have to be preapproved before appearing. You and the other Ninja will have full rights to request removal of anything objectionable."

"Adjust that rule, or Lloyd will have you remove everything."

"Nah, he secretly loves it. Otherwise he wouldn't text me advice on approaching Meowthra or how to give his sharks belly rubs."

"Really? And not one word about that 'Cat Ninja' thing?" He gestured to the current lead story, 'Green Ninja, Cat Ninja, or Both?!' A photo of Lloyd from the golf tournament was the focal point, and the story seemed to be about a theory that the Green Ninja's power was feline communication. (Not too far off, in Cole's opinion.)

"Nope!"

"Interesting..." Cole returned to his study of the website.

"It's not live yet, of course," Karen finished. "Currently this is on a private server that only the LPF have access to."

Cole silently continued his study. After nearly fifteen minutes, he nodded and handed the laptop back. With her watching, he again opened the video, tapped the share link, typed in an email, and hit send.

Karen gave a squeal of delight as her phone dinged, immediately opening up the email to confirm she had the full video.

Cole turned to leave.

"I would've made the website anyway, you know," commented Karen, straightening her large green bow.

"This was a test," commented Cole over his shoulder, waving his hand in farewell.

Karen's phone dinged again. She opened the email, forwarded from the Earth Ninja, originally from the most elite lawyer in the city (didn't that guy work almost exclusively for rich people like the mayor and the Gordon's?). 'Preliminary Contract for Public Relations Management of The Ninja Force...'

Cole smirked at the fangirlish squealing behind him as he headed home.

The website was live when he checked the next morning, with the Baby Shark Lloyd video front and center on the main page. Along with a disclaimer and health advisory.

Apparently there'd been a rash of fangirls being taken to emergency rooms, having fainted from the excessive cuteness.

~~ ! Go Ninja Go ! ~~

_Author's Notes: Hope you enjoyed, and curious if you guys now get the Karen inside joke in Triple the Ninja, Triple the Fun, by Sunny Lighter? There's a couple more inside jokes to come that will only make sense after future My Dad is Bad - Bonus Scenes shorts or future In Need of Polish chapters! Part of our joke on you guys is definitely keeping you guessing what's just part of the AU crossover… and what might secretly be spoilers! Feel free to guess! _

_The idea that Cole is Karen's "inside man" on the Ninja Force came about in a PM with Sunny Lighter and may even be her idea! The idea is he's the one Lloyd's LEAST likely to accuse for the release of the Baby Shark video – definitely Lloyd's top suspect is Kai, then it probably goes Nya, Jay, Zane, his dad, a random general. Cole doesn't even make the list! _


	6. Ch6: Shark Patrol!

CH 6 - Shark Patrol!

"Hello and welcome to the first episode of Shark Cam!'s sequel series, Shark Patrol!" cheered Garmadon from behind the host's desk of the volcano's most infamous TV series, only recently made available to the public.

Lloyd smiled at his dad, rolling his eyes and turning to the camera. "As you all know, the last episode of Shark Cam! ended rather embarrassingly at the realization that no-one in Ninjago is afraid of sharks anymore. While this is FANTASTIC news, and shark lovers everywhere rejoice at this victory over blind prejudice and-"

"Gettothepoint!" pretend-coughed Garmadon. The laugh-track rolled and Lloyd blushed, stepping off his figurative soap box.

"-ahem. It did leave the future of our show in a bit of a quandary. That issue has recently been resolved by a suggestion from Maude herself!"

"Wait, I thought this was your idea?"

"No, Dad, I told you! Maude-"

"The shark is getting credit for our spin-off series?!"

"Yes, Dad! Now, as I was saying, Maude, our beautiful female Great White, came up to us last week and mentioned she missed going around with her camera and how about we give her a more permanent accessory that she could use on her regular patrols around Ninjago. Turns out the sharks have an elaborate patrol system worked out to-"

"Cough-nobodycareswrapitup-cough!"

"Without further ado, about nothing apparently, The Volcano is proud to bring you: Shark Patrol, The Series! An educational program-"

"NOT!" shouted Garmadon, before falling out of his chair cackling.

"In which we follow our sharks on their brave patrols of our waters, protecting us from invaders, thieves, and all enemies of Ninjago!"

~~ ! Go Ninja Go ! ~~

"I thought that went very well!" announced Lloyd, stepping down from the stage to join his friends, who had been very excited to witness a live recording of their new favorite show.

What was not to like? It was basically a cop show, starring sharks, with Garmadon's typical black humor narrating, interspersed with Lloyd's almost embarrassing attempts to make the show educational. The funniest part may be that Lloyd seemed to think he succeeded.

Although it WAS just flat out COOL watching GarMaDon face down and chase off honest-to-FSM PIRATES! They'd actually thought those dudes must be actors, but the pirates had genuinely been flat out terrified as they fled the waters off Ninjago City's famous coastline. And neither Lloyd nor Garmadon can act for beans, and both of them had been way too into the 'chase scene' for it to have been staged. Plus Don had shredded that one dude down to his undies, which showed some impressive control to not spill a single drop of blood!

Yep, not bad at all!


	7. Ch7: Rescue Shark

CH 7 - Rescue Shark

"Seriously, Lloyd?"

"What?" asked Lloyd, confused at Nya's exhausted tone. "They love their cameras! Don't you guys! Yes, you do! Eh, no no, it's time to take them off for cleaning!"

"Yeah, that's weird," sighed Nya, plopping down next to Lloyd in the beach part of the shark enclosure. (That wasn't exactly enclosed, but then it wasn't a tank or aquarium or really any other term either. Observation area? Cuddles, love, and food area?)

Nya didn't care about getting wet, since she could just use her powers to dry off, so she went ahead and helped Ma out while Lloyd finished taking off Gar's camera and got started on Don's.

"But I actually was talking about that guy," she finished, gesturing at a much smaller shark swimming in (apparently?) excited circles as he waited for his turn with Lloyd. It was a given that the Great Whites got Lloyd time before any of the other sharks.

"Who, Johnny? What about him?"

"He's wearing a Dolphin Rescue vest."

"Yep! Since people aren't afraid of sharks anymore, I let him join their ranks! His cousin's interested too, but she's shy."

Nya groaned and rolled her eyes. Maybe it was her imagination, but she could've sworn she saw Ma give an eye roll of her own.

"Lloyd. You can't send a shark to rescue someone."

Lloyd sat back, having removed the small, much less intrusive cameras from Gar and Don and rubbed the area down. The cameras were still new to the sharks and Lloyd was worried about them being irritating to his babies. Despite his sharks' assurances that they were fine and that Lloyd was being his typical worrywart self.

Lloyd stuck his tongue out at Don who had just said something to that affect. And right in front of Nya, too!

"Lloyd."

Nya had copied Lloyd's actions with Maude, minus the sticking out her tongue, and handed the button camera to her friend.

"Yeah, yeah, Gar says the same thing about Johnny. Most of the other sharks think he's nuts. But it's his dream, Nya! And people aren't scared of sharks anymore!"

Nya pet the excited little... rescue shark... as it eagerly swam up for attention on some unseen signal from GarMaDon.

His dream? Oh dear. Lloyd's eyes were sparkling even, all ready to launch into some epic speech.

"Just because people don't scream and run away anymore, doesn't mean they want a shark 'helping' them back to the beach when they're injured. How do they even know he's a, uh, rescue dolphin?"

Lloyd was obviously about to say something like, "Duh, he's got a vest on!" So Nya cut him off with an arm wave to continue her point.

"Is he even big enough to support a person?" Next to the Great Whites, Johnny looked awfully small.

"He's been training!"

"Training?"

"Yep, every other night for two hours. And those dolphins are strict! I've joined in a couple times and -"

"Of course you have," groaned Nya.

Lloyd instantly went on the defensive. "He'll be just fine! George says he's ready!"

"George? I'm guessing the dolphin?"

"The captain!"

Now he speaks Dolphin too? And attends rescue classes?

Nya gave up. She patted Johnny on the head and, in her heart, wished him all the best.

"Just... do me a favor. Do an intro video for him on your shark channel? So people might recognize him and be, uh, more grateful?"

"What an awesome idea! Thanks, Nya! Hear that, Johnny?! You're getting an interview!"

"Wait, I said... never mind."

"Think I should use clips from that last episode he was in?"

"He's already been on Shark Patrol? I don't remember..."

"No, no, Shark Cam!, episode, oh, it must be in the 300s somewhere. Johnny's first attempt at being a rescue dolphin. It..." Lloyd frowned. "It didn't go well."

Nya paled. "What happened to the person he rescued?"

"Well, he got them back to shore, with the help of another dolphin since he was still a trainee, and the lifeguard saw the vests and came to help out and..."

Nya suddenly understood where this was going. And was struck with the impulse to giggle. "The lifeguard freaked out?"

"Yeah. Bad. He screamed and fainted..."

Nya buried her face in her hands, trying so hard not to laugh. And, of course, in true Lloyd fashion, that wasn't even the end of the story.

"And the scream woke the person he helped rescue, and then she started screaming, and then a bunch of other lifeguards came running, and when THEY saw Johnny in his vest..."

"First Master," swore Nya, voice a little unsteady from trying not to crack up.

Lloyd gave a lopsided little half-smile, acknowledging the ridiculousness of it all even as he felt terrible for Johnny. "It's one of Dad's favorite episodes. GarMaDon were insanely jealous for weeks. But Johnny was devastated, and the dolphins unanimously banned him for life - which I only just managed to overturn, after weeks of negotiation! So that's why Johnny HAS to be a Rescue Dolphin, see?"

No. She really didn't. But she smiled for Lloyd's benefit.

~~ ! Go Ninja Go ! ~~

_Author's Notes: This idea was all Sunny Lighter's! Though she probably meant it as a joke the first time she threw it at me! Whoever claimed GarMaDon were the only sharks to have interesting backstories in the volcano? _

_To anyone who doesn't have it on alert, My Dad is Bad was finally updated last week! Yay! And the next chapter is actually complete, just undergoing some final edits! I plan to post that next week. I've also got two more shorts already written, with plenty more ideas in my list! _


	8. Ch8: Garmadon's First Existential Crisis

Ch 8 - Garmadon's First Existential Crisis

(Or, How Lloyd learned to manipulate Daddy)

"But I LIKE My Pretty Pony!"

"Absolutely not, Lloyd! How dare you watch such, such moralistic propaganda in My Volcano!"

"What's wrong with it?!"

"It teaches, ugh, like, life lessons, and being polite, and common decency, and all that goody-two-shoe how-to-be-a-hero nonsense! I won't have it!"

"Everyone at school talks about it all the time! I have to know who all the characters are to understand the insults and pop culture references! You want me to be ignorant?!"

Garmadon rose an imperious finger in the air, than paused as he realized saying yes would kind of be similar to calling himself stupid.

"Besides, I've been going behind your back for MONTHS, watching this show! Surely that should count for some seriously evil points, watching TV I know my dad would disapprove of!"

Garmadon hesitated, looking confused for a second, then whipped his head side to side. Preteen Lloyd grinned, knowing he had this fight in the bag!

"I forbid it, Lloyd!"

"Oh, so I should obey my daddy? Like some sweet little pretty pony? Then we can all sing happy songs about obeying our parents and listening when warned about entertainment from those older and thus wiser than us?"

Garmadon was actually twitching at this point. Lloyd's bratty smile grew.

"Go ahead. Tell me to be a good boy and listen to you. And, just so you know, no matter what you say, I'm totally gonna go behind your back to keep watching my favorite cartoon. Because I'm BAD like that!"

"I... You... But..."

"I'm going to be a terrible, rotten, spoiled brat by continuing to watch sweet, wholesome, surprisingly well-written stories about how to be a good person. And there's nothing you can do to stop me! Mua-ha-ha-ha!"

Garmadon clearly had no idea if he should still be upset or if he should be proud. After nearly two minutes of false starts, confused grunting, and arm waving at nothing in particular, he stalked toward the pantry.

Lloyd left him to drown his sorrows in hot cocoa. In the elevator, he took out his phone and tapped out a text message to No.25.

[Told'ja I could do it! Bought you guys at least half a day to fix that mech No.95 busted! Remind the dude he owes me a dozen doughnuts for this, and for FSM's sake to remember gloves next time!]

[Thx for saving 95's butt, and possibly our whole department's! Do you even like My Pretty Pony?]

[Hey, don't knock it 'til you tried it! And I never said I'd LIE to get you guys off the hook! All I had to do was leave my phone unlocked on the table, open to my WebFlicks account. He did the rest by being a nosey GarmaDaddy.]

[This is awesome, kid. You've gotta see the footage from the security camera.]

[Sure thing! Send me the intranet link, please!]

[I still get a laugh at your manners, kid.]

[And thank you. ;)]

~~ ! Go Ninja Go ! ~~

_Author's Notes: Yes, Lloyd watches the Ninjago equivalent of My Little Pony. Because of course he does. Anyway, this came to mind when someone mentioned how Lloyd has a disturbing amount of experience with manipulating Garmadon - which is kind of worrisome, but still oh so funny! Lloyd has mastered how to explain his 'good' behavior as 'bad' to please his father, which will be quite funny in the future as it's become quite the habit by now!  
_

_Special thanks to Sunny Lighter for looking this over for me! As well as for the idea that he not only regularly manipulates his father, but that in the past he has tried to do so to cover for the generals. He's not always successful, but he can usually buy them a few hours. _


	9. Ch9: Our Little Terror

CH 9 - Our Little Terror

_Author's Notes: Based on a few bits from Lloyd's discussion with Wu in chapter 24. This is my first non-fluff oneshot here, but it's not really angst or anything. You'll see. Beta-read by Sunny Lighter! _

_Dedicated to Sunny Lighter, Carrie2sky, EMPFanGirl02,_ _Silvermags, and Black' Victor Cachat for all their questions and feedback on the previous generation of Ninja and their relationships with Lloyd! You five especially have been an enormous help in fleshing out these characters! _

~~ ! Go Ninja Go ! ~~

Ray couldn't believe how much of a headache this had turned into.

It was supposed to be a fairly straightforward mission. Stop the Serpentine from releasing the Great Devourer. Rescue Garmadon's son, the little idiot who had released them in the first place, preferably before the warlord found out he was in danger and went on a rampage. You know, normal save the world ninja-ing.

Ray had been quite impressive, if he were to say so himself, hanging from the anchor of the Bounty as it swept along. Sarah's piloting skills had held the flying ship steady at just the right height and speed for them to cut between the fleeing blond child and the small army of Serpentine and for Ray to, again rather impressively, hook a leg around the anchor, swing upside down, and snatch the child right out of Pythor's arms just as the Anacondrai had caught the runaway.

The kid screaming bloody murder as he was rescued was not part of the plan. Nor was the mad fight to escape - and, what, fall right back into Pythor's clutches? Ray held on desperately, both to the anchor and to the struggling child, and could do nothing but clench his teeth as the kid BIT DOWN.

And dang, that kid could bite. Little brat. At least he didn't have Garmadon's fangs. It took all of Ray's focus not to slip from the anchor as they whooshed away, not to lose his grip on either anchor or child as they were pulled up and he scrambled one-armed back aboard.

Ray rolled onto the deck, huffing out a relieved breath, and glanced down firmly to order the little terror to release his arm. He'd need to clean it up, as the brat had definitely broken the skin.

Tears poured down the brat's face, flowing freely from eyes absolutely huge with terror. Flat out panic. A little crazed, definitely sick looking, probably from lack of sleep, food, whatever those nasty snakes had put him through.

The idea of Kai or Nya in Lloyd's place momentarily froze Ray in a panic of his own, eyes glued to the tiny blond child. His earlier irritation completely evaporated as he realized that Lloyd wasn't just scared of the Serpentine...

He was terrified of the Ninja.

Lloyd abruptly dropped Ray's arm and lunged for the edge of the ship, only just being scooped up by Maya before he managed to fling himself over the side and drop to his death. They were well above a survivable fall at this height.

Thank goodness their twins were so active, as Maya knew perfectly well how to hold Lloyd so that he both couldn't hurt her... and that he would feel instantly comforted.

Or he should've. He still eyed them like they were the monsters here.

Lloyd didn't say a word, face paling even further as Maya carried him past a confused Libber and a frowning Gerald and inside the ship.

~~ ! Go Ninja Go ! ~~

Maya took Lloyd to the family room, or rather, the small communal area of the ship where they had a couch and a TV.

She gently lowered herself to the couch, then relaxed her hold on the child into something less of a pin and more of a hug. It was second nature to her to rock ever so slightly while humming, and after a few minutes she felt Lloyd relax. He actually fell asleep, probably from sheer exhaustion. Though he still frowned and shivered, and she had a feeling he would wake at the slightest provocation.

It had been so long since they'd seen him. Since before Koko left, actually. Years. So much had changed since that last time they'd been together. Lloyd was certainly no baby anymore, no more than Kai and Nya were, though he was small enough that he looked younger than she knew he was.

She would let him sleep some more. Let the others plan out their next steps in stopping Pythor, while she quietly sat here. She didn't mind.

~~ ! Go Ninja Go ! ~~

When Lloyd woke up, in a comfortable bed for the first time in weeks, the Earth Ninja was standing over him.

He shrieked and lunged backwards, but there was a wall so he couldn't escape.

His eyes darted around the room, desperately searching for an escape route, only to realize... this wasn't a prison. This was where all the Ninja slept on this ship, bunk beds on both sides, dirty gi flung over messy bedsheets, open books and notepads sprawled here and there.

"Are you feeling better?" asked Earth, in a soft, musical voice that Lloyd found impossible to ascribe any threat too.

"I'm... fine...?"

Sarah smiled gently, reaching over and brushing a hand through the boy's bedhead.

"I've got a change of clothing for you here, and breakfast is ready when you are. Bathroom's the next room over. We'll get you home to your daddy as soon as we can. Promise."

Wide green eyes blinked at her in bewilderment.

~~ ! Go Ninja Go ! ~~

Lloyd eyed Ice suspiciously as the white-clothed ninja gently felt around his bruises and scrapes from his 'adventure'. The Ninja had been way too nice to him since saving him from Pythor. There had to be a catch. Maybe they didn't know the whole story? They knew who his dad was, but maybe they didn't know who Lloyd really was? That he was their enemy?

"I let them out on purpose, you know," he suddenly commented, tone obviously searching for something. A fight. An accusation. To be insulted, cursed, thrown off the ship?

"I figured as much. Very clever of you," was the calm reply.

Lloyd blinked.

"Took me a while to translate and interpret those scrolls myself, and I consider myself something of an expert on the topic. An impressive achievement in one so young."

Lloyd stared at the Ice Ninja in disbelief. "You don't understand. I wanted an army. To be like my dad. Help him conquer Ninjago." He would've continued, but Ice's fingers found a particularly tender spot and he winced.

Gerald silently made note of the past tense of Lloyd's statement as he applied salve to the injury and bandaged it up. They were silent for a few minutes before he chose to speak up again.

"What do you want now, Lloyd?"

As he'd expected, the boy blushed in shame, ducking his head and looking away.

"You don't have to be like Garmadon," he continued casually. "You make your own choices. You chose to let the Serpentine out, and they chose to attempt to release a monster on Ninjago. What they choose to do now is up to them. And what you choose to do now is up to you. Although I would prefer if you did not choose to put my gi in the wash with Ray's again."

Lloyd made no attempt to deny his prank, but wide eyes turned into a mischievous smirk as he realized Ice wasn't going to hit him. "But you were so pretty in pink!"

Gerald rolled his eyes. "Brat," he huffed, but the tone was too affectionate for even Lloyd to miss. "Just for that, you get to do everyone's laundry. And the dishes. And scrub down the bathroom."

Lloyd pretended to moan and complain, but Gerald smiled at the relief in those eyes. The little terror had needed something to do. And apparently Ice had passed his weird childish trust test by assigning him chores.

~~ ! Go Ninja Go ! ~~

"Why do you fight my dad?" Lloyd suddenly asked Lightning, looking up from where he'd been scribbling in a notebook Earth had given him.

Libber had to cut back the groan. She'd been dreading any type of conversation like this with the boy. Why couldn't he ask, like, Gerald? There's someone that wouldn't mind explaining to a little gremlin that his father was insane and evil.

Lloyd continued watching her with those disconcertingly bright green eyes. It reminded her all too much of a pair of bright blue eyes. The last time she'd seen her son, blinking sleepily at her as she passed him off, for the last time, to Edna. So innocent. Not understanding she wouldn't be coming back.

Lloyd frowned as Lightning gave an awkward laugh that didn't seem to be any sort of reply to his question.

"Well, we're, like, the Secret Ninja Force. Which means we've vowed to use our powers to protect Ninjago and stuff."

"But Dad would make a great evil emperor!"

Whooo boy. She really didn't want to touch that.

But Lloyd clearly saw the doubt on her face.

"Key word, 'evil'," finally retorted Lightning, sounded somewhere between resigned and giggly. "Do you even know what that means?"

Lloyd drew himself up proudly. "It means he does whatever he wants!"

"What about what I want?" asked Libber, musingly. "I'd love to spend every day with my husband and son, but that's impossible. I'd love your dad to quit being evil, but that's not going to happen anytime soon. I'd love if the kids at your school didn't bully you, but I can't control them, or their parents, or any of your teachers. Really, I can't control anyone or even anything but myself."

Libber was barely paying attention to Lloyd anymore as she rambled on, unaware of the look of stunned revelation on Lloyd's face.

"Huh, I guess I don't get much at all of what I want. So maybe evil does get to do whatever they want, and good has to do what other people want. But evil does what they want by hurting other people. By not caring about what anyone else wants. So good has no choice but to stop evil, even if they don't want to, deep down. If it'd be easier for everyone to just let evil have his way but -"

"My dad hurts people...?" interrupted a soft voice. And it wasn't denial in his tone, but realization. Of connecting the dots, and finding an ugly picture.

And, oh crap. Yeah, this is why she left the heavy conversations to the others.

Lloyd was staring at the bandages on his hands. His wounds had all been surprisingly superficial and were healing quickly, so they probably could come off soon. Maybe even -

"Like Pythor didn't care about me. Like Pythor hurt me," whispered Lloyd. "Dad doesn't care about other people. Dad hurts..."

"Your dad LOVES you," interrupted Libber fiercely, grabbing the small boy around the waist and charging for the kitchen. "That's all you need to know. And now I want cookies! Come on, come on, come on!"

~~ ! Go Ninja Go ! ~~

The plans to prevent the release of the Great Devourer were all in place. They knew exactly what they needed to do. It would all be over tonight.

Which meant Lloyd was safe. They could take him home. It was way past time to take him back to Garmadon anyway. The boy needed to go home. Needed to remember how much his dad loved him, needed him, wanted him.

They were getting too attached. This was still Garmadon's son. Garmadon's last reason to hold onto sanity. They absolutely could not let Lloyd stay with them, or Garmadon really would become something out of a nightmare.

So they dropped off Lloyd on a rooftop. Instructed him to call his dad to pick him up and explain everything that had happened. Though they really should've known he wouldn't.

They'd forgotten how quiet the Destiny's Bounty could be.

And they all soon found themselves back on that rooftop, chatting with a small boy that had no business up there for long, long hours.

So much for letting go.

~~ ! Go Ninja Go ! ~~

_Author's Notes: This was supposed to be comedy. Then it was supposed to be fluff. Now I'm not sure what it is, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway! _

_I've got a couple more shorts that I've started, but nothing else complete. I'll actually be posting the first chapter of He Takes After His Grandfather next week, details on my profile. But don't worry - My Dad is Bad chapters and shorts will still take priority as I finish them. _


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